The Little Girl I Used to Know

If you’re ever in needing of remembering who you are, look back at the pictures of when you were little. The clarity that comes is something of a comfort.

When you’re little, you don’t think you know who you are. In fact, you don’t even care. You’re just living a simple, innocent life. Taking joy in little things like receiving your favorite toy or getting vanilla ice cream in a cone, playing with your best friends or going to the beach with your family. And it never occurs to you that one day, it will all be different. You won’t get to go to the beach with the same people every year. You won’t get to see the same people everyday. You won’t care about your favorite toy, you’ll be too concerned with other material things. You won’t get vanilla ice cream any longer because you’ve tasted other flavors like coffee toffee crunch or triple cookie dough. The truth is, life is complicated and we sometimes get lost in the complicated. We forget the simplicity of a vanilla ice cream in a cone and how good it can taste. When you’re little, you don’t think you know who you are. As it turns out, you’re more yourself then than you will ever be.

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Looking back at those pictures of myself, I looked truly happy. Then I found myself wishing I could go back to that little girl. I tried to remember what she was like. The more pictures I looked at, the more I remembered.

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She was sweet and kind. She slept with all of her stuffed animals at night because she didn’t want any of them to feel left out. Also because she felt safe with them all engulfing her bed. And she cared for everyone in her life. Real and make believe.

 

She was gentle and had a gentle heart. If she picked up something very fragile she would inspect it, then put back where she found it. She also loved roses and the color pink as shown below.

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She believed she was a princess and her parents were the king and queen. Dressed in the most beautiful fashions, Princess Morgan believed she was destined for greatness and couldn’t wait to grow up and become a queen, just like her mother before her. Though, she also aspired to be a singer. She sang all the time to Shania Twain and dreamed of walking the red carpet with lights flashing all around her.

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She was also very silly. Little Morgan made the king and queen laugh all the time. A trait, they said, she got from her father.

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She was adventurous. Her imagination took her to amazing places. She always had an intricate story to tell with her dolls, taking inspiration from her favorite Disney princess movies.

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Most of all, she was beautiful. She was the sun. Everywhere she went, she shined, for it was not just her appearance that made her beautiful, it was her pure heart. She was the heroine, the princess, the mermaid, the magic. She not only created magic, she was magic. And she was bright.

“Who were you before the world told you should be?”

I was bright.

I was the sun.

I was magic.

Remembering who I am was what I needed going forward. I needed to know the little girl I used to know once more. She gives me that strength I forgot I had. She reminded me, that I still have the sun trapped inside me. That I can still shine, and that I’ve always been bright, I just couldn’t see it.

But now I can feel it. I still have magic inside me. I’m still that little girl. And maybe one day, I’ll be more her than I’ve ever been. Only then will I be truly happy.

I just have to remind myself of who I am.

I am strong.

I am imperfect.

I am beautiful.

I am gentle.

I am kind.

I am bright.

I am the sun.

I am magic.

We all are.

 

xoxo,

xoxo-M

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